When Raising Children Tugs On Your Heart Strings

Raising children tugs on your heartstrings, doesn't it? My oldest child and I have been experiencing quite a bit of friction over the past few months. She is ten going on twenty, strong-willed, and at the age where I am no longer as cool as I used to be, which is a little bit heartbreaking. The first few times they are embarrassed by you over something you didn't realize was embarrassing, it is confusing. I can tell them I love them a little too loudly in public or cheer a little too proudly at their baseball game, and bam, I have done the unthinkable. I am met with a snarl and a "Mom, stop, you're embarrassing me." After a few of these times, you grow numb to it, develop thicker skin, and it doesn't feel as hurtful when they are embarrassed about your outfit (which looks amazing by the way) or whatever else you did as their very uncool parent.

Through all of these funny and not-so-funny moments and stages, we moms can often start to feel like we are failing our children. We especially feel this way during those weeks where we are constantly having to discipline our children. They are talking back, not doing their chores, and fighting with their siblings, which leads to constant corrections that are frustrating for both you and your child. That is where I have been lately with my daughter, and I have cried many tears over it and prayed much about how best to approach this stage. It's just a phase, and it will pass.

However, over the weekend, we celebrated Easter together as a family. We went to church, had several large meals together, opened Easter baskets, and then spent the afternoon taking a family walk and hunting for Easter eggs. It was a really fun day, and everyone had great attitudes despite the busyness. When I cleaned up downstairs and went upstairs to shower and get ready for bed, my daughter came into my bedroom with a note and a stuffed animal. Earlier in the day, we had talked about how I loved the squishy little stuffed animals as she does, and she reminded me that she had one shaped like a coffee cup (my favorite). Along with the stuffed animal, she had written me a heartfelt note thanking me for making Easter special for her.

In that moment, I let out a huge sigh of exhaustion and relief. I often feel like I am holding my breath as a mom, just hoping and praying that I am raising them to love Jesus. I also want to be a calming voice for them, teaching them emotional regulation and resilience, amongst a long list of other things that were not instilled in me as a child. I love when God parents me, His child, and sends me these little reminders that He is giving me the strength and endurance to continue investing in my children. If I didn't have Jesus, I wouldn't be able to do it, truly. I hung the note on my mirror and keep the stuffed animal on my bed every day as a reminder that although this season is full of growing pains, it is also full of beautiful moments.