How To Make Yourself A Priority

I’ve spent a lot of time and money in therapy trying to regain, or scratch that, build a healthy self-esteem. Maybe you have also never known how to make yourself a priority either. I never had anyone teach me how to be confident as a child, which really set me back in life in many ways. Add on not having a close relationship with one of my parents, and then said parent moving far away, you’d see how my abandonment struggles took the place of feeling secure in myself or the world at large. I never thought of myself as a priority, or if I am being honest, I never thought that I mattered all that much. This was one of the hardest lies to overcome for me.

There have also been misconceptions I have held throughout my life about what it means to be a confident Christian. My faith is most important to me as I love Christ with all of my heart and soul. However, I’ve struggled with the fear that if I’m confident in myself, then I’m prideful. The line between confidence and pride is pretty obvious, even scripturally, yet I still struggle with it. Maybe you do too?

Then I endured a heartbreak so severe in 2023 that it changed me. It took me down to the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. Through that, though, God has shown me through His word and my therapist’s Christian influence that I am a bully to myself. I have spent decades treating myself so poorly internally. My loud inner voice is one of critique, shame, and downright hate at times. Not only have I bullied myself, but I have also blamed myself for things that were never my fault to begin with. I will never forget the day my therapist asked me if I would ever dream of talking to my children the way I talk to myself. 

I audibly gasped inside and felt my heart skip a beat in my chest. I immediately responded with a firm, “Never!” Never would I talk to anyone the way I talk to myself, and especially not my precious, beautiful, and amazing children.

So why have I done that to myself? For years, why have I always pushed the invisible bar I have set for myself even higher? Why have I told myself I’m not pretty, smart, or talented enough? Why have I pushed my body to extreme limits only to never be proud of myself when I look in the mirror? Why did I blame myself for the unfair things in my life that happened to me? Why did I put these burdens on myself and allow others to put those burdens on me?

Why? Ask yourself why, as I know you carry hard things as well.

I could blame it on my abandonment issues, heartbreaks, and the way I’ve always had to take care of myself without any help since I was a kid. These are certainly valid reasons that have absolutely played a part in my struggle to love myself in a healthy Christian manner. 

But that would be hiding behind the testimony of all that God has done through my struggles. I WAS a victim in certain situations, but I won't live in that mentality and negate the path God has before me, which is full of hope and freedom.

Pride is a sin, but loving yourself with a healthy love is not. Yes, we all are totally in need of Jesus. We are sinners from the day we breathe our first breath as babies, and will never be able to save ourselves. Only Jesus can save us, and no, we don’t deserve it, yet He died for us. When you’re a child of God, there is no more condemnation. You’re free, my friend. 

We can remind ourselves daily that we are children of God. All of our talents and abilities are from God and God alone. We can use those talents and love ourselves because He loves us. This doesn’t mean we puff ourselves up and think we’ve nothing else to learn or work on in our hearts. It means we take care of ourselves the way God takes care of us. Just as the song we learned in Sunday school proclaims, "We are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world." We are precious.

We should hate the sin that so easily ensnares us and pulls us away from Christ, that we all fall prey to. We shouldn't hate ourselves and treat ourselves poorly when grace abounds from Christ Jesus.

So, how do I love and care for myself these days? It has been a long process for me, but here are some things I do that take care of my soul, body, and spirit. I hope it inspires you to start taking care of yourself. In order to love and care for others, we ourselves must be filling up our own souls so we can serve others.

Spend Time With The Savior

As Christians, we should be diving into the Word of God on a daily basis. The Bible is where we find wisdom, understanding, peace, and direction for our lives. The Lord speaks through His word, so daily we must strive to listen. Prayer is also key to keeping our hearts in tune with Christ. This is the top way to take care of yourself.

Take Care Of Your Physical Body

It is pretty popular now amongst Christians to take care of one's physical body, and I am so glad we are in agreement on this one. How are we supposed to use our God-given talents if we don't have the discipline to take care of the body we need to go out and spread the Gospel? Get regular check-ups, eat well, move your body via exercise, and rest at night.

Find A Mentor or Therapist Or Both

I firmly believe that life was not meant to be lived alone. We have all endured hard things in our lives, and that means we need support. Therapy is not fun. There are times in life when we need it, though. I don't enjoy going and unpacking all of my trauma, scars, and fears. Yet, it is a wise thing to find a Christian mentor or therapist who can help you gain the tools to heal and move forward. There are many Christian therapists and mature Christians who will mentor you. Ask your Pastor or other church leaders for a recommendation. Do a Google search for the best Faith-focused therapists in your area. Get well and be well! Thank God for those who are wiser than I, who have helped me tremendously.

Take Time Away

Taking time away doesn't have to mean going on a long, extended vacation. As a busy mom, I am rarely alone. I have kids to homeschool, errands to run, a job to tend to, a house to manage, and other commitments to check off. Yet, sometimes we just need a few minutes of peace to breathe and think straight. It is not selfish to take time for yourself, whether that be a long walk, a trip to the back porch alone, a few hours to rest, or a weekend away to get to a place of restoration in your mind. Some of my most restorative moments have been taking a long two-mile walk in the park with the sun shining down on me.

Create Community

I can't express how much my friends mean to me. There is something so special about finding quality, Christian friends with whom you can do life with. It may feel awkward at first when you're trying to make friends as an adult, but it is worth the initial discomfort to find your people. A great place to look for friends is at church, your job, local parks you visit, and places you go with your kids (especially if you're looking for fellow mom friends). Invite someone to coffee and see how it goes!

Self Care

I used to live as if self-care was a waste of time. I hate to even admit that, but I did. You'd find me making every excuse in the book to actually stop and take care of myself via journaling, getting a pedicure, or simply slowing down to rest. Self-care is crucial to taking care of yourself. Self-care looks like working out, drinking water, and eating well, but it also looks like taking care of your skin, spending time reading in the sunshine, and maybe even getting a pedicure. Self-care is different for everyone because we all have different likes. I love to color in my adult coloring books before bed sometimes, and I also love going to my favorite coffee shop for a latte. Do things that give you life!

I hope this inspired you to create your own self-care routine! Take care of yourself. I am praying for you!

Self-Care Checklist that you can download and print! Click the button below this to print!

self care printable.pdf

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I hope this post inspired you to take better care of YOU!