Will God Abandon Me?

“If you're working on a miracle, I can't see

Would you hide me in the shadow of Your wings

I have to believe

You haven't abandoned me.”

(Song is aftermath by Chase & Co.)

I was tidying up my house this afternoon when this song started playing through my headphones. This one specific part stopped me in my tracks as I folded a mountain-sized pile of laundry. I felt tears well up in my eyes because I have prayed that same prayer many times. 

Abandonment is part of my testimony and something I have struggled with for a long time. I remember feeling a constant nagging in the pit of my stomach as a child after my parents divorced and my dad moved out. Then, as a teenager, I felt even more unwanted and abandoned after my father moved across the country. The absence of that relationship in my life left a large hole in my heart that God has been lovingly healing for many years.

For years, I believed deep down that if I wasn’t a perfect Christian, God would abandon me (even though I knew I was saved, I still struggled with this). After all, I had experienced earthly abandonment and wrongfully blamed myself for it, so what if God also decided I wasn’t worth it? Now, obviously, that is a lie from the enemy that I have battled, and scripture completely says the opposite, but I will tell you something with the utmost confidence today. 

I would gladly go through all of the abandonment I have experienced here on earth again just to be able to feel and experience the deep love of Jesus. 

He never once walked away from me. On my absolute worst days and on my record-high days, He faithfully loved me unconditionally. 

There are many days when we feel like we’ve sinned for the last time. How could God forgive us… again? And again? Or how could He love me after all I’ve done, even as His child? Does God even see me anymore? Has He forgotten me? Does He hear my prayers?

If you're struggling with this today, I pray that you’ll take this truth to the very depths of your heart. God will never leave or forsake His children. You’re safe in the Lord. No one can pluck you from His loving hand!